Self-Destruction and Guilt

Guilt is one of the most destructive emotions we can experience, we can feel guilty about anything, for example; having busy work lives and not having enough time to spend with our kids, family, or friends. Or, perhaps we feel guilty after saying or doing something hurtful to another person.

Whatever the circumstances, guilt ties us to the past; a particular event and/or experience from our past, as well as the people connected to it. Guilt can destroy our inner self; our own control, trust, faith and/or belief, eating away at us day by day, week by week.

For some, they can feel as if they are swamped by guilt, unable to move in any direction, as the amount and type of thoughts, and feelings connected to an event has overwhelmed them.

Forgiveness; acceptance and letting go, allows us to move on. Depending on the situation, it may or may not come from another person, however, it is equally important for yourself, that it comes from within you.

Guilt is a very common emotion that affects most people at some point in their life. It is a depriving condition that can have consequences and effects on a person’s physical health, mental health and overall well-being.

When guilt resides within friendships and relationships it can easily disrupt the wants and needs of one or both people involved. For example; the effects of guilt can persuade a person to change their wants to that of their friend or partner.

Of course, within any good friendship or relationship there will be a compromise, however, when a person feels guilty they often sacrifice or completely omit themselves from the situation so that the other person receives everything they want. Should this only happen now and again, then it may not be an issue, however, if the guilt is not let go, then it will continue, and so will the action of removing yourself and your own wants each time a decision is to be made.

Guilt is particularly noticeable within our thought process and speech, by the overuse of the word should, such as; “I should do this for them” (even though I do not want to). When we repeatedly do things that we think we should do for others, we are trying to please them (to fulfil their wants). Then, as a result, we can find ourself continuing along their path (their wants) and not being our true-self. In this manner, guilt transforms into manipulation, which inevitably leads to self-destruction, whether a person is aware of it or not. Some friendships and relationships are very complicated; a twisted web of feelings and emotions, passing back and forth between both people, growing in size and number as more time is spent together. Hence, over time it is not uncommon to find that neither person is clear on what they truly want.

Many poor decisions are made from feelings of guilt. In most cases, the impact and effect of the manipulating force of guilt, does not allow a person enough freedom to consider other options that may also be available to them at the time, resulting in missed opportunities that could have been far more suitable than the one they were guilted into taking.

We can experience guilt from our own actions or inactions and/or from another person who may be using guilt, as emotional blackmail, to manipulate our thoughts and feelings, and ultimately change our decision into an outcome of their liking. This can significantly alter the course of a person’s life.